Chronicles of Amaryllis TGS
by Lunar-Essence
Summary: Amaryllis, the Giant Squid, writes about her life, love, anxieties, dilemmas, delights, griefs and her ongoing battle with the troublesome, to say the least, Merpeople in a series of candid diary entries.


**Author's Note:**

**Lobalug**: A sea creature consisting of a poison sac and a spout, the lobalug is used as a weapon by merpeople.

Borrowed from the Harry Potter Lexicon.

* * *

**Chapter 1: In need of a life!**

**Behind a huge rock.**

I am SO bored! I have absolutely nothing to look forward to today. You would think being a squid (not so much the giant bit, thank you very much), living in a lake in the _Hogwarts grounds_ of all places, would be exciting.

Yeah, sure, as exciting as watching Merpeople sing.

I spent the afternoon being fed stale toast by moronic students. I mean, just because I actually eat the toast doesn't mean they have to keep feeding it to me. I wouldn't say no to chocolate cake you know! And you know the saddest thing? That was the most exciting part of my day. Seriously, I have no life! I need to go do something other than complaining to an inanimate object. Toodles!

**Wednesday, In front of the huge rock (5 minutes later)**

Ok, I have nothing else to do. Let me make a list.

**Things that REALLY annoy me**

1) Being so mind numbingly bored that I have to grouse about it in a bloody diary.

2) My name. What kind of parent who really loves their squidling names her Amaryllis!? Some can't even pronounce it for crying out loud!

3) The fact that most people assume I'm male. Hello! Definitely female here people!

4) When the Merpeople chase me around the lake pointing their sharp spears and lobalugs at me. I don't eat your pet Grindylows on purpose, you know! How am I supposed to know they're tame if you have them roaming the waters like wild demons?!

5) Merchildren throwing rocks at me for no rhyme or reason (their personal amusement does not, I repeat, does NOT count as a valid reason). The rocks hurt people!

6) Indigestion. Not pretty.

7) Random people falling in the lake. I absolutely hate when this happens. Of course, me being the nice squid that I am, I have to hoist them back up again. And let me tell you, however tiny those brats seem in comparison to yours truly, they're heavy!

8) When people throw garbage into the lake. Pollution isn't cool guys. Especially when the plastic gets all tangled up in my tentacles and I have to beg those snobby Merpeople to cut it out. The little brats learn magic, don't they? Can't they magically get rid of their trash instead of dumping it into the lake?!

9) People feeding me toast. It's really annoying. I don't even like toast. But students keep insisting on feeding it to me and of course I _have_ to eat it. If I don't, some poor fish might eat it and choke. It is my moral obligation. Oh my, the responsibilities I have. Sigh

10) Responsibilities!

Yeek! I don't think this toast agreed with me. I need to go. Now.

**Friday, In a clump of weeds.**

Jeez, I spent all day yesterday _and_ the day before throwing up. I'm not going to be trying the toast again anytime soon.

**Saturday, A corner.**

I've sunk to a new low. I'm writing letters to my family. Kill me now.

**Monday (One week later)**

I can't believe the Merpeople stole my diary! I hate them! Why do they have to keep harassing me so? I'm such a tortured soul. But I do love blackmail. I can't believe what Merchildren would do in exchange for their stinky pet Grindylows. Getting my diary back wasn't that tough after all.

**Wednesday, My cave.**

Well, I got back the replies to the letters I sent out. I don't know how I can stand my family. My mom not so subtly hinted for the thousandth time that I should move out from this (as she so very subtly puts it) hell-hole to a nice sea or ocean. Just because my brother has a nice place in the Indian Ocean. God I hate her.

My brother's children are such brats. They always address my letter as "Dear Aunty with the confusing name". _Every single time._ Argh! If you can't remember my name, don't bloody well write me a letter!

My family sucks.

**Friday, Somewhere near the bottom of the lake.**

I'm just swimming around aimlessly avoiding the Merpeople. I accidentally broke the head of that ugly statue they have in their village square. Personally, I think I did them a humongous favour even though it wasn't on purpose. Seriously, that statue was way too atrocious. The Merpeople, however, think otherwise. It was some big thing for them. So anyway, I'm going to avoid them for a few days, at least until they've calmed down a bit and aren't on a murderous rampage.

I met that ghost yesterday. What's her name? Martha? Meryl? Myrtle! That's it, Myrtle. She seemed very upset for some reason. I wonder why people don't like her. Well, yeah, she can be a tad depressing. And yeah, her tears _are_ capable of supplying water to the entire castle. But she's not that bad once you talk to her. Honestly, the students and ghosts up at school can be such beasts! Poor little girlie. Where's the compassion, I ask you? Doesn't she deserve care and love even though she's a ghost? Doesn't she have the right to -- Oh crap! I think that's her. I hope she didn't see me. I better scram while I still have the chance. Until next time. Buh-bye now!

**P.S**. The TGS at the end of my name stands for The Giant Squid, but I prefer it without the "Giant" bit, thank you very much. I'm just as normal sized as any other not-so Giant Squid.

* * *

** A/N: **Well, there we go. It seems kinda short, but maybe that's just me. Anyhoo, here comes the part where I ask you to review. So yeah, pretty please review! ) 


End file.
